Hey everyone,

 

I'm really upset. We've had Valerie over 2 years now and she's never really liked us but over the past year she's become more and more distant from us and now won't come out of her cage (you can leave it open for hours and she won't go near it) she won't let us put our hands anywhere near her (she'll just bite them REALLY hard) and makes "warning noises" (like "hey don't come anywhere near me or else") whenever we walk near or around the cage. I just don't know what to do. I think we got her when she was too old so our training never took off with her, she's never liked sitting on our fingers and certainly won't do now.

 

Is there nothing I can do? Am I just doomed to having a budgie that I can just look at rather than being able to have her out, flying around and playing with us?

Others will know more about this, but it could be that Valerie is just being hormonal, going through puberty of sorts. She should grow out of it. Others will know things that you can do to help her come out of it friendly on the other side.

How often does Valerie spend time alone during the day?

How often do you work with her on a daily basis?

How many times during the week do you let her out during the week and for how long?

 

These are important questions because the less time spent, and the less often you let your bird out the more fearful they can become of you and the outside world.

 

Also has she had any enviromental changes? Any new additions to your home? Have you changed the time you spend with her etc??

Have you moved her cage?

Good idea to get background information Lovey, something to work with. :ygbudgie:

All budgies can be tamed, no matter what age you start them at. I would go to eterri's site. www.budgietalk.com for some really great taming tips.

I will be awaiting your response but one thing is that budgies don't hate us or any other pet they fear us and there is good reason. We are bigger and we can hurt them not that we would.

 

Another point is tame is in the eye of the owner. What are you looking for in tame?

 

Budgies can learn to accept us and some will tame to a certain degree. Example, I can't compare Bea's (a member here) Blinkie with Pretty as they have 2 different backgrounds.

 

A wonderful example also is myself personally. This is not a bird story but a cat and can be applied. My husband found a 5wk old feral kitten she learned to live in our home, accept our rules but she was never a cuddler and was scared of us pretty much all the time and kept her distance. We never hurt her till the day she passed. We recently obtained 2 free kittens from someone who rescued the mom cat. The kittens had human interaction from day one especially kids now these 2 are different. 1 is very bold and tom cat like and is not scared of anything, is sister same background is shy but trusting but she won't just walk up to us.

 

What is the moral? Different backgrounds, different personalities are going to yield different results. You may have to accept Valerie will be shy (not hate you) and the more time you put into her she will come around more but you may never get the sit on your shoulder, preen your hair, kissy budgie you may want.

 

I hope no one takes what I say wrong, just adding to the post. It saddens me when people say my pet hates me when that is not the case at all.

Have you thought of getting another bird? I've heard that if you can tame your new bird, the other becomes a little more trusting of you. And worse case scenario, it is company for your other little birdie. Perhaps this isn't an option for you but it ?might? help. My experience is that males seem to tame better than females.

It saddens me when people say my pet hates me when that is not the case at all.

 

Wrong Elly my budgies REALLY do hate me hehe.

nah I don't believe it Booms :hap:

How often does Valerie spend time alone during the day?

How often do you work with her on a daily basis?

How many times during the week do you let her out during the week and for how long?

 

These are important questions because the less time spent, and the less often you let your bird out the more fearful they can become of you and the outside world.

 

Also has she had any enviromental changes? Any new additions to your home? Have you changed the time you spend with her etc??

Have you moved her cage?

 

Hi sorry for the long wait for the reply, I've been working. The thing that confuses me is that she's been gradually getting worse for a number of months and it's now got to the point where she appears to really dislike us even being in the same room.

 

As for your question Lovey, Valerie does spend quite a lot of time on her own, she isn't in the main room, she is in the spare room (although whenever we're in I do spend quite a lot of time in there, and there is always music playing, which she does tend to like) but we are both at work for a number of hours during the day. I do come home at lunch and say hello to her and sit with her for an hour or so though.

 

To be honest, we've given up working with her because she's quite vicious and I'm very scared of her biting me (not that it hurts, but because it's unpredictable and so fast!) but we used to try and have her out every day.

 

As for letting her out, I try and get her to come out every day, but she's now got to the point where she won't be brought out on my finger and if I leave the cage open for hours on end she still won't come out, I have to take the top of the cage off and force her underneath to get her out and when she is out she just sits in the corner, doesn't fly around, and after half an hour maybe, desperately flies back to her cage.

 

She does get moved around in her cage quite a bit which I am worried has upset her slightly. We have been on holiday a number of times and she has to travel to my partner's parents house where she stays for a week, maybe two, before being transported back - I always try to be careful when doing so.

 

As for the comment about getting a second bird, I am seriously considering it, but I'm put off by having to keep them "quarantined" for 2 weeks before introducing them to each other as I only have one cage and don't really want to buy another only to not have it used after this trial period. I think it would be very good company for Val and hopefully (if the new bird took a liking to us) will make her see that we're not gonna hurt her and she shouldn't try and bite me all the time!

 

I'm just unsure as to what to do with her now, I'm scared of being bitten and am upset that I can't do anything with her cos she's so scared of us.

My concern with getting another budgie is that they do feed off each other so it could backfire.

 

1. They may not get along, females tend to be nit picker then males

2. if you get another one it needs to be tamed period because if it is not then you will have 2 untamed budgies that you feel hate you and that is a even a worse situation then one

 

This is my personal opinion I feel that you need to work with her and make sure you have the time for her before you intro a new one into the picture. From what I have read she spends most of her time alone and it really has gotten worse because not enough daily time is spent with her.

 

I know you said you have given up but we must never give up how fair is that to her? Breaking down taming periods where she sees you more frequent is better then just 1 long one. So 15 mins in the AM, 15 mins in the afternoon and more time spent in the evening. Also adding her to your living quarters where she sees you all the time is essential if she doesn't see you during the day and then even when you are home she barely sees you that is not good.

 

I believe a good short term goal would be that she feels comfortable with you when she is in the cage and that she is more approachable this way. Leave hands out of it as you are scared she is going to nab you anyways and she is probably scared that you are going to hurt her not that you would.

 

I encourage you not to give up on her as Sailor said every budgies is tamable "to a certain degree". We should never give up on a pet that we ultimately brought into our homes they had no choice.

 

I hope this isn't taken wrong just being honest :hap:

Perhaps you could borrow a cage from someone. Or buy one that is smaller just for quarantine and perhaps a hospital cage.

 

Any chance the bird is sick? I ask because you say things are getting worse. Usually the more you try to work with them, the more things improve. I'll be watching the post to see how things work out. I wish you luck whatever you end up doing.

Adding: quarentine is actually 30 days minimum suggested 90 days by avian vets. You would need another cage but you can get a small cage and you can always ask on the return policy too :hap: but really it is good to have 2 cages when you have 2 birds in case they 1 don't get along or 2 one gets sick and you need to separate.

 

Shawna is right I got a small cage for 14.99 US granted it was small but I let Merlin out allot during that time for taming. Also if you borrow a cage make sure it is disinfected with a safe cleaner because you don't want to be transfering any germs that could be in that cage.

 

Oh and again I agree maybe she is not feeling well as Shawna said that is something to consider seriously or even going through a molt or hormonal period.

You have been give some good advice already, but I would like to add that not considering another bird because of the expense of another cage isn't realistic, in my opinion. There is a chance that the second bird you get will not ever be allowed safely in the cage with your existing bird. It is unlikely, but likely enough that you should consider keeping them in seperate cages anyway. In which case the purchase of another cage is not an unnecessary expense, but very necessary. Some birds are very territorial, and seperate cages with out of cage time together is normal. Even if they do not share a cage all the time, they will still have each other in sight and sound distance, so could possibly help your problem of not enough time to spend with them. On the other hand, a second bird means twice as much of your time will be taken up than already is by bird care and interaction. They will need seperate times with you if they do not share a cage.

 

I don't think your bird is a lost cause by any means. I have a hen that is 5 years old that I have never been able to tame to 'step up' on my finger. She used to be deathly afraid of hands, but as I have had her for 4 1/2 years now, she is not as bad as she used to be. Taming is a matter of trust. I know this hen trusts me as I can now put my hands near her and she will not flinch so long as she knows I am not after her. I can change food and water right next to her and she will ignore me, but if I want her to step up, or get too close into her comfort zone, she will move away. At this point, she will just move away...not fly away in terror. Doesn't sound like much, but believe me there is a big difference. :ausb: Especially out of the cage. And it takes a lot of time to get there. Took me many years, but I don't worry about it. Each day I sense progress, whether I actually see it or not, LOL. She will go into her cage on voice command, but not on my finger. If she ignores me I can 'herd' her in with my hand. I just don't touch her. Which when I think about it, I like much better. I think if you forget about having any expectations or any timetable of when you think she should be tame and trusting, you will have better luck. Take it one day at a time. And to give you a little more hope, she will preen my eyelashes, eyebrows, and hair. She will even fly to me and land on my arm, shoulder, or plate if I have food. She gets right up in my face, and talks to me (or tells me off, I'm not always sure). But I can't touch her. But I really don't care. She's my sweetie bird, and I love her anyway. There are many degrees of tame. It's not always being a hands-on kind of bird. Best of luck to you.