Posted April 7, 200817 yr Rejected Hallmark Cards "Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder:... -- What was I thinking?" "Congratulations on your wedding day!... -- Too bad no one likes your wife." "How could two people as beautiful as you.... -- have such an ugly baby?" "I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love... -- After having met you, I've changed my mind." "I must admit, you brought Religion in my life... -- I never believed in *** until I met you." "As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... -- that you're not here to ruin it for me." "As you grow older, Mum, I think of all the gifts you've given me... -- Like the need for therapy." "Thanks for being a part of my life!!!... -- I never knew what evil was before this!" "Before you go,... I would like you to take this knife out of my back. -- You'll probably need it again." "Someday I hope to get married... -- but not to you." "You look great for your age... -- Almost Lifelike!" "When we were together, you always said you'd die for me... -- Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise." "I knew the day would come when you would leave me for my best friend... -- So here's his leash, water bowl and chew toys." "We have been friends for a very long time... -- What do you say we call it quits?" "I'm so miserable without you... -- It's almost like you're here." "Congratulations on your new bundle of joy... -- Did you ever find out who the father was?" "You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket... -- I'd miss you heaps and think of you often."
April 7, 200817 yr :hap: :hap: :hap: "Congratulations on your new bundle of joy... -- Did you ever find out who the father was?" :hap:
April 7, 200817 yr Oh daz too much time on your hands, Have you finished buliding the cabinets (Laughing out loud) ... I have one for you though it's a joke a nice Irish joke ..... Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, 'Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!' Miraculously, a parking place appeared. Paddy looked up again and said, 'Never mind, I found one.'
April 7, 200817 yr Author Oh daz too much time on your hands, Have you finished buliding the cabinets lol ... no i've been too busy today. I have to get to Bunnings to get some Aluminium "U" channel for the dividers. Tomorrow I'll be back into it.
April 7, 200817 yr BANNED FROM K- MART........... This is why women should not take men shopping against their will. DON'T TAKE ME IF I DON'T WANT TO GO........... After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to K-Mart. Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local K-Mart. Dear Mrs. Fenton, Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behaviour and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras. 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking. 2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom. 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away." 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on lay-b y. 6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area. 7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department. 8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" 9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose. 10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were. 11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the " Mission Impossible" theme. 12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels. 13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!" 14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a foetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!" And last, but not least .. 15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!" Regards, K -Mart.
April 7, 200817 yr Derek... I used to work at Kmart, and people actually do the alarm clock thing... ALL the TIME!!!!!!!!
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