Stimulus Payment Information.

“This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q & A format:

 

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?

A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

 

Q. Where will the government get this money?

A. From taxpayers.

 

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?

A. Only a smidgin.

 

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?

A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set or some such thing, thus stimulating the economy.

 

Q. But isn’t that stimulating the economy of China ?

A. Shut up.

 

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the Australian economy by spending your stimulus cheque wisely:

 

If you spend that money at Kmart, all the money will go to China.

If you spend it on petrol it will go to the Arabs.

If you purchase a computer it will go to India.

If you buy a car it will go to Japan.

If you purchase useless krap it will go to Taiwan.

And none of it will help the Australian economy.

 

We need to keep that money here in Australia. You can keep the money in Australia by spending it at garage sales, going to a cricket match or footy game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer and wine (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those are the only businesses that may still be owned by Aussies.

Thank you all Australians,

Your mate,

K.RUDD.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

:rofl: not bad. I got stimulated last week... all on the credit card... I wonder would it be better to just not tax us as much instead of taking it away and then giving it back to us?

It only makes sense to tax money when it is spent. Making all transactions electronic, abolishing all taxes and introducing one simple tax of 1% deducted from every transfer of money regardless of what the payment is for, and getting rid of all debts would solve a great deal of problems and simplify the whole system. Superannuation would be better spent on buying your own home than in someone elses pocket.

I'm looking forward to this topic taking off :rofl: I love nothing more than watching political discussions unfold... I guess its my introvert personality that does that...