Received this from my sis in law and made me laugh but then again, unlike her, we stopped at 2

 

 

BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN - SO TRUE!!!

 

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN

confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

_____________________________________________________

Preparing for the Birth:

 

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time,

breathing didn't do a thing.

3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month

______________________________________________________

The Baby clothes:

 

1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, colour co-ordinate them,

and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and

discard only the ones with the darkest stains.

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

______________________________________________________

Worries:

 

1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick

up the baby.

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your

firstborn.

3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical

swing ______________________________________________________

Dummies:

 

1st baby: If the dummy falls on the floor, you put it away until you

can go home and wash and sterilise it.

2nd baby: When the dummy falls on the floor, you squirt it off with

some juice from the baby's bottle.

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

______________________________________________________

Nappy changing:

 

1st baby: You change your baby's nappies every hour, whether they

need it or not.

2nd baby: You change their nappy every two to three hours, if needed.

3rd baby: You try to change their nappy before others start to

complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

______________________________________________________

Activities:

 

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and

Baby Story Hour.

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry

cleaner.

______________________________________________________

Going Out:

 

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call

home five times.

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a

number where you can be reached.

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she

sees blood.

______________________________________________________

At Home:

 

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older

child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the

children.

______________________________________________________

Swallowing Coins:

 

1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to

the hospital and demand x-rays.

2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for

the coin to pass.

3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his

allowance!

_____________________________________________________

Pass this on to everyone you know who has children . . . or everyone

who KNOWS someone who has had children . .

 

(The older the parent, the funnier this is!)

 

GRANDCHILDREN: God's reward for allowing your children to live!

:rofl:

So true, this is great.