Do Budgies Grieve

[Guest bigstan]

Hello to everyone.

 

I'm trying to get some advice on what to do. I've spoken with friends, and vets. Here's my situation. I have had the pleasure and great affecton in having budgies for pets. In 1994 I bought my first budgie (Stan-male). In 1996 I bought my second (Sadie-female). This past Saturday Sadie past away after a short illness that started in December 06. One night she had just started bleeding droplets of blood out of her shoot. I took her to my avian vet and we did everything. The X-rays and exam revealed no lumps or masses. She had a swollen abdomen and a high bacterial count in her fecal smear. We decided to treat her with 2mm of baytril once daily. Through the month of January she was on Baytril with some improvement. But still a little blood in stool. I took her back to the vet and we tried a different antibiotic and a steriod (DepoMedrol) for inflamation. This past Saturday she came out of her cage as she always had in the morning looking normal. A few hours later she was looking ill with ruffled feathers, tail down, eyes closed. I put her back in the cage, covered with her blanket and put a heating pad on top for some warmth. My other bird Stanley just went about his business on top of his cage. Within a half hour I could her her violently throwing up her seeeds. I was really concerned. I waited a while longer and gave her her daily antibiotic. About a haly hour later I could her her in distress. I peaked under her blanket and she was flailing about on the bottom of her cage. I was horrified. I knew she was dying. During this time Stanley jumped on top of her cage. She was covered, he didn't see her dying. I am so hurt and grieving for her right now.

 

Here are my questions. As you can see Sadie lived to be eleven years old. Stanley is twelve almost thirteen years old. Stanley and Sadie were companions for eleven years. I don't know what to do about what he might be feeling. Question (1)- Do budgies grieve? (2)-I haven't buried Sadie yet. I live in Michigan and the grounds are frozen. She will be cremated. Is it important to let Stanley view her dead body for the final time ? I know this probably sounds so silly. But they were together so long. (3) Should I get Stanley a new friend? If so how young, male or female? (4) If I don't get him a new friend, companion will he die of grief or loneliness? I realize that he is older but he has always been so strong and just a great bird. I couldn't handle losing him any time soon. He is wondering where she is. I haven't put her empty cage next to his. Could this help?

 

I would appreciate if anyone could give me help and advice by responding to my questions. I believe that only true budgie owners can speak be experience of what they might have went through with their own pets. I was really attached with Sadie, and the same with Stanley.

 

My email address is adler84@sbcglobal.net. Or just answer on the board. I'm knew here and trying still to figure how to use this site.

 

Than You All

 

Karl S Adler

[Daz 0]

I am sorry to hear for your loss.

 

Question

(1)- Do budgies grieve? Some say no but from my experience they do look for companionship and they do search from their mate.

 

(2)-I haven't buried Sadie yet. I live in Michigan and the grounds are frozen. She will be cremated. Is it important to let Stanley view her dead body for the final time? I know this probably sounds so silly. But they were together so long. No I wouldn't let him see her again. It is over. It might cause more anxiety for him

(3) Should I get Stanley a new friend? If so how young, male or female? Yes I would. A young female but remember to quarantine her for 35 days at least. I would also have your vet check Stan over as you don't know what killed Sadie and you don't want to loss Stan or give the other bird I’ll health. Stan may be a carrier for the disease that killed Sadie. He may have grown immunity to the disease and should be checked.

 

(4) If I don't get him a new friend, companion will he die of grief or loneliness? The first sign of depression is that he will stop eating and will look lethargic. This is not good.

[Guest bigstan]

I am sorry to hear for your loss.

 

Question

(1)- Do budgies grieve? Some say no but from my experience they do look for companionship and they do search from their mate.

 

(2)-I haven't buried Sadie yet. I live in Michigan and the grounds are frozen. She will be cremated. Is it important to let Stanley view her dead body for the final time? I know this probably sounds so silly. But they were together so long. No I wouldn't let him see her again. It is over. It might cause more anxiety for him

(3) Should I get Stanley a new friend? If so how young, male or female? Yes I would. A young female but remember to quarantine her for 35 days at least. I would also have your vet check Stan over as you don't know what killed Sadie and you don't want to loss Stan or give the other bird I’ll health. Stan may be a carrier for the disease that killed Sadie. He may have grown immunity to the disease and should be checked.

 

(4) If I don't get him a new friend, companion will he die of grief or loneliness? The first sign of depression is that he will stop eating and will look lethargic. This is not good.

 

 

Daz,

 

Thanks so much for your fast response. I appreciate the answers and am glad I found this site. A few things. As you said I'm not going to show Stan her body. I was thinking exactly along the lines of your answer. The stress and anxiety would be too much. Can you give me some clarification as to why I should quarantine the new female budgie 35 days if I were to buy. I've never heard this. And also what is the right age for a young female. I was thinking hand fed 6-12 weeks. If that is right. Also, your advice to have Stan checked out because he might be a carrier I will follow up on. I didn't even think he could be immune, or a carrier of a disease. The good thing so far is that he has been eating regulary, and talking his head off. As a breeder do you have any idea how long budgies live? And what is the oldest that you've heard of?

 

Thanks Again

[armchairangel 0]

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.... Losing pets can be really tough, particularly when you are attached to them and have had them for a long time.

 

We have a 16 year old budgie and are worried she may be coming to her end too. I've only been around her since June, but have grown quite attached and I'm guessing our other two will miss her when she's gone too.

 

I think that budgies grieve in their own way. They miss their companions and can get depressed just like humans. Watching for the signs like Daz mentioned is a good idea.

 

As far as showing him the body, I've let my pets view their deceased brothers and sisters. Yes, it upsets them, you can tell, but I think it helps them not try to find them anymore. However, I've done this very shortly after their death. I should also mention these were dogs and cats, which very well may respond differently to stress than birds. Since some time has passed since her death, I would not show him her body.

 

Getting Stan a new friend would be a good way to help ease his lonliness for Sadie. I woudn't worry too much about the age difference. Baby was 15 when we got 2 young budgies. It took her some time to warm up to them, but she seems happier with friends. As long as you don't push him to spend time with her, he'd probably enjoy having another bird around.

 

The quarantine is to be sure you're not introducing any diseases to your existing birds. There are diseases that don't show symptoms initially, so it doesn't look like you're getting a sick bird.

[Rainbow 0]

Hello Karl, and welcome to the forum. I am sorry for your loss, it is so hard to lose a budgie. Everyone here knows how you probably feel, and we feel with you.

 

It is very difficult to answer some of the questions you have posed. I can tell you unequivocally that budgies do grieve. There is no doubt in my mind that after 11 years with Sadie, Stan is feeling depressed and anxious. He will probably call for her and might become visibly upset when she does not answer. You will need to give him extra attention, because I think he is probably also feeling a bit lost without her. 11 years is a long time, it is probably forever as far as Stan is concerned. I am unsure how to answer your question about getting another budgie, though. Since they were companions for so long, he may see a strange budgie as a nuisance, especially a young one that will probably be after him to fly and play quite a bit, and will also subject him to the "terrible two's" and "terrible teen's" phases that a budgie goes through in its first year of life. He may or may not be up to that, you will have to determine that as best you can judging by what you know of his personality and how he copes in the next week or so. He may also look upon a new budgie as an intruder initially and show some aggression (be it out of character or not). On the other hand, budgies are usually gregarious and love being around others of their own kind as well as their humans. If you decide to get another bird, be prepared for the possibility at least at first, that Stan may not want anything to do with him or her. Quarantine will be one way to tell, since they will not have contact with each other except via hearing, if Stan seems eager to talk to the other budgie, you may not have problems. If not, he could just not be ready to socialize. There are a lot of variables here, and most all of them hinge on the unknown, unfortunately. I can't tell you if he will die of grief without another bird, because each bird is different, and I know it happens. All I can advise is for you to really think about his personality, and your heart will tell you yes or no. Just make sure you are giving him extra attention now.

 

As far as letting him view Sadie, I honestly don't know what to tell you. When Rainbow died, he was in the cage with his family. (Long story, but he had a kidney tumor and towards the end had to be caged seperately for his safety much of the time. This particular night everyone was getting along and he really wanted to be with the rest of the birds.) When I found him the other birds had not bothered him at all, but with hindsight, I know they were in the beginning stages of grief. It took them about 2 months before they acted what I would term 'normal', and we are talking 10 birds. Even with each other's company plus my own, it took awhile before they created a new routine they were comfortable with. They really seemed lost for awhile, as their routine was definitely disrupted. Stan's routine has taken 11 years to establish.

 

Rainbow's presence was missed by more than just me, believe me. Mine saw him die, they also saw me prepare him for burial, and place him in a box. I told them what happened and what I was doing. A big part of that was for me too, as hearing it out loud helped me with closure. I don't know how Stan would take seeing Sadie right now, as it has been a few days and he may be getting used to the idea that she is missing. I think right now I wouldn't, when it first occurred, I probably would have.

 

Like Daz said, if he stops eating for more than a day, I would be concerned. He may be lethargic because he is grieving. My birds didn't do much for awhile. Again, you have to listen to your instincts with what you know of living with Stan for over 12 years.

 

I truly wish you the best, and hope that Stan is able to cope with the loss of his partner as well as possible. And again, I am very sorry for your loss.

 

Oh, and quarantine should be followed in case the new bird is hiding illness. Most illnesses will show up within the 30-45 day timetable, and you will be able to treat the new bird without exposing Stan to possible illness. This is also why quarantine should be observed in different rooms. Take care of Stan first, then the new bird. After any cage cleaning, taming, etc. of the new bird make sure to wash your hands (maybe even change clothes) before you interact with Stan again. It may seem like a pain, but one bird is easier to treat than multiple birds, and since Stan's immune sytem will probably be a little down due to the stress of Sadie's passing, he may not be able to fight off any germs as well as if things were like they used to be. A vet check of the new bird within a few days of bringing him/her home is a good idea. This also gives your vet a baseline to go by as the bird grows.

 

 

**edit**

If it hadn't taken me so long to write up my novella, I would have realized that armchairangel said a good deal of what I did while I was typing!

Edited February 28, 2007 by Rainbow

[**KAZ** 0]

Armchairangel and Rainbow have had some brilliant words of advice for you. Tremendous really. I am so sorry for your loss. There's not much to add, but to tell you I had a budgie that grieved the loss of his partner so deeply I feared for his life. This is not to say it will happen the same way for every budgie as pet budgies have their human companions as well to ease them through this. My boy made himself quite ill in his grief. Nothing worked and I prepared myself for the possibility of losing him.

BUT what worked in the end was to give him a new friend, the exact same colour and type as the lost lady love. It was the only thing that worked....it brought him back from the brink.

If you do choose to get him a new friend, bear this in mind and try to make a choice that he will be happy with in colour and type. There are a lot of pros and cons and all needs to be considered. Quarantine is of utmost importance as we have all lost birds by ignoring that important fact when we were new to bird ownership and didn't know about quarantine.

 

Biggest hugs :angel1: Karen

[Guest bigstan]

Armchairangel and Rainbow have had some brilliant words of advice for you. Tremendous really. I am so sorry for your loss. There's not much to add, but to tell you I had a budgie that grieved the loss of his partner so deeply I feared for his life. This is not to say it will happen the same way for every budgie as pet budgies have their human companions as well to ease them through this. My boy made himself quite ill in his grief. Nothing worked and I prepared myself for the possibility of losing him.

BUT what worked in the end was to give him a new friend, the exact same colour and type as the lost lady love. It was the only thing that worked....it brought him back from the brink.

If you do choose to get him a new friend, bear this in mind and try to make a choice that he will be happy with in colour and type. There are a lot of pros and cons and all needs to be considered. Quarantine is of utmost importance as we have all lost birds by ignoring that important fact when we were new to bird ownership and didn't know about quarantine.

 

Biggest hugs :angel1: Karen

 

 

Thank's Karen for the great info. Everybody has been great and I got a lot of good advice. Sadie looked exactly like your green/yellow in the middle of your picture. For the most part Stan is fuctioning okay. He's got a great appetite and is talking as normal. But were only three days in and it just happened that I had this and next week off work. So he's getting plenty of attention. Budgie's are very affectionate and respond well with humans. I most likely will get another soon for his companionship.

 

Hello Karl, and welcome to the forum. I am sorry for your loss, it is so hard to lose a budgie. Everyone here knows how you probably feel, and we feel with you.

 

It is very difficult to answer some of the questions you have posed. I can tell you unequivocally that budgies do grieve. There is no doubt in my mind that after 11 years with Sadie, Stan is feeling depressed and anxious. He will probably call for her and might become visibly upset when she does not answer. You will need to give him extra attention, because I think he is probably also feeling a bit lost without her. 11 years is a long time, it is probably forever as far as Stan is concerned. I am unsure how to answer your question about getting another budgie, though. Since they were companions for so long, he may see a strange budgie as a nuisance, especially a young one that will probably be after him to fly and play quite a bit, and will also subject him to the "terrible two's" and "terrible teen's" phases that a budgie goes through in its first year of life. He may or may not be up to that, you will have to determine that as best you can judging by what you know of his personality and how he copes in the next week or so. He may also look upon a new budgie as an intruder initially and show some aggression (be it out of character or not). On the other hand, budgies are usually gregarious and love being around others of their own kind as well as their humans. If you decide to get another bird, be prepared for the possibility at least at first, that Stan may not want anything to do with him or her. Quarantine will be one way to tell, since they will not have contact with each other except via hearing, if Stan seems eager to talk to the other budgie, you may not have problems. If not, he could just not be ready to socialize. There are a lot of variables here, and most all of them hinge on the unknown, unfortunately. I can't tell you if he will die of grief without another bird, because each bird is different, and I know it happens. All I can advise is for you to really think about his personality, and your heart will tell you yes or no. Just make sure you are giving him extra attention now.

 

As far as letting him view Sadie, I honestly don't know what to tell you. When Rainbow died, he was in the cage with his family. (Long story, but he had a kidney tumor and towards the end had to be caged seperately for his safety much of the time. This particular night everyone was getting along and he really wanted to be with the rest of the birds.) When I found him the other birds had not bothered him at all, but with hindsight, I know they were in the beginning stages of grief. It took them about 2 months before they acted what I would term 'normal', and we are talking 10 birds. Even with each other's company plus my own, it took awhile before they created a new routine they were comfortable with. They really seemed lost for awhile, as their routine was definitely disrupted. Stan's routine has taken 11 years to establish.

 

Rainbow's presence was missed by more than just me, believe me. Mine saw him die, they also saw me prepare him for burial, and place him in a box. I told them what happened and what I was doing. A big part of that was for me too, as hearing it out loud helped me with closure. I don't know how Stan would take seeing Sadie right now, as it has been a few days and he may be getting used to the idea that she is missing. I think right now I wouldn't, when it first occurred, I probably would have.

 

Like Daz said, if he stops eating for more than a day, I would be concerned. He may be lethargic because he is grieving. My birds didn't do much for awhile. Again, you have to listen to your instincts with what you know of living with Stan for over 12 years.

 

I truly wish you the best, and hope that Stan is able to cope with the loss of his partner as well as possible. And again, I am very sorry for your loss.

 

Oh, and quarantine should be followed in case the new bird is hiding illness. Most illnesses will show up within the 30-45 day timetable, and you will be able to treat the new bird without exposing Stan to possible illness. This is also why quarantine should be observed in different rooms. Take care of Stan first, then the new bird. After any cage cleaning, taming, etc. of the new bird make sure to wash your hands (maybe even change clothes) before you interact with Stan again. It may seem like a pain, but one bird is easier to treat than multiple birds, and since Stan's immune sytem will probably be a little down due to the stress of Sadie's passing, he may not be able to fight off any germs as well as if things were like they used to be. A vet check of the new bird within a few days of bringing him/her home is a good idea. This also gives your vet a baseline to go by as the bird grows.

 

 

**edit**

If it hadn't taken me so long to write up my novella, I would have realized that armchairangel said a good deal of what I did while I was typing!

[Guest Phoebe]

Hi Bigstan, I LOVE how you LOVED your budgie! Being involved in rescue work, I constantly see how budgies (and other small animals) are labeled throwaway pets and not respected and not given proper care. I feel your pain as I recently had one of my birds (Rosey Bourke, age 8) put down for some undiagnosed and fatal ailment.Definitely do get another budgie but quaratine them first, you seem like just the greatest person, maybe you should check out an rescue place instead of getting a new baby but that is just a thought. Not everybody is into rescueing birds but you seem like such a caring person with a BIG heart!

[Guest bigstan]

Hi Rainbow,

 

Thank you so much for taking the time to write such a thoughtful and detailed letter. I have read it a few times and it helps to keep these things said in the back of my head. I'm 99% sure on getting another budgie. I'm thinking sooner rather then later. For the most part Stan is pretty normal. Good appetite and talking as usual. He is really wanting my attention. He's out for the most part all day. He's whistling to me and I respond. So nothing has changed there. However when I walk out of the room he flys to my shoulder. So that's not unusual but he's doing it everytime rather then once in a while. So he's wanting more attention and I'm giving it. All and all everything is good but its early and he might change.

 

Thank's again I'll keep you posted.

 

Karl

[Rainbow 0]

Thank You. I'm not surprised Stan is acting a little clingy, and you are wonderful for giving him the extra attention. I'm glad most of his behavior is normal instead of otherwise. I am sure that is a relief for you also. I'm glad you are leaning toward getting another bird. Another budgie can provide many things that we as caretakers cannot, no matter how much we wish we could. Even if it is just that another bird speaks budgie fluently!

[Guest bigstan]

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.... Losing pets can be really tough, particularly when you are attached to them and have had them for a long time.

 

We have a 16 year old budgie and are worried she may be coming to her end too. I've only been around her since June, but have grown quite attached and I'm guessing our other two will miss her when she's gone too.

 

I think that budgies grieve in their own way. They miss their companions and can get depressed just like humans. Watching for the signs like Daz mentioned is a good idea.

 

As far as showing him the body, I've let my pets view their deceased brothers and sisters. Yes, it upsets them, you can tell, but I think it helps them not try to find them anymore. However, I've done this very shortly after their death. I should also mention these were dogs and cats, which very well may respond differently to stress than birds. Since some time has passed since her death, I would not show him her body.

 

Getting Stan a new friend would be a good way to help ease his lonliness for Sadie. I woudn't worry too much about the age difference. Baby was 15 when we got 2 young budgies. It took her some time to warm up to them, but she seems happier with friends. As long as you don't push him to spend time with her, he'd probably enjoy having another bird around.

 

The quarantine is to be sure you're not introducing any diseases to your existing birds. There are diseases that don't show symptoms initially, so it doesn't look like you're getting a sick bird.

 

 

Thanks armchairangle for replying to my letter. I decided not to let Stan see Sadie in death. It would be too much stress for him as an older bird. I was suprised to hear that your bird is 16. That's unheard of. I was always told budgies live between 7-10 years. But I think that being loving and affectionate to your birds ads additional years to their life. Stan is doing good so far with a good appetite. He does seem to sleep a little more which is okay as long as he eats. I'll probably get a young one for him in the next week.

 

Thanks Again

 

Hi Bigstan, I LOVE how you LOVED your budgie! Being involved in rescue work, I constantly see how budgies (and other small animals) are labeled throwaway pets and not respected and not given proper care. I feel your pain as I recently had one of my birds (Rosey Bourke, age 8) put down for some undiagnosed and fatal ailment.Definitely do get another budgie but quaratine them first, you seem like just the greatest person, maybe you should check out an rescue place instead of getting a new baby but that is just a thought. Not everybody is into rescueing birds but you seem like such a caring person with a BIG heart!

 

 

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.... Losing pets can be really tough, particularly when you are attached to them and have had them for a long time.

 

We have a 16 year old budgie and are worried she may be coming to her end too. I've only been around her since June, but have grown quite attached and I'm guessing our other two will miss her when she's gone too.

 

I think that budgies grieve in their own way. They miss their companions and can get depressed just like humans. Watching for the signs like Daz mentioned is a good idea.

 

As far as showing him the body, I've let my pets view their deceased brothers and sisters. Yes, it upsets them, you can tell, but I think it helps them not try to find them anymore. However, I've done this very shortly after their death. I should also mention these were dogs and cats, which very well may respond differently to stress than birds. Since some time has passed since her death, I would not show him her body.

 

Getting Stan a new friend would be a good way to help ease his lonliness for Sadie. I woudn't worry too much about the age difference. Baby was 15 when we got 2 young budgies. It took her some time to warm up to them, but she seems happier with friends. As long as you don't push him to spend time with her, he'd probably enjoy having another bird around.

 

The quarantine is to be sure you're not introducing any diseases to your existing birds. There are diseases that don't show symptoms initially, so it doesn't look like you're getting a sick bird.

 

 

Thanks armchairangle for replying to my letter. I decided not to let Stan see Sadie in death. It would be too much stress for him as an older bird. I was suprised to hear that your bird is 16. That's unheard of. I was always told budgies live between 7-10 years. But I think that being loving and affectionate to your birds ads additional years to their life. Stan is doing good so far with a good appetite. He does seem to sleep a little more which is okay as long as he eats. I'll probably get a young one for him in the next week.

 

Thanks Again

 

:ausb: Hi Bigstan, I LOVE how you LOVED your budgie! Being involved in rescue work, I constantly see how budgies (and other small animals) are labeled throwaway pets and not respected and not given proper care. I feel your pain as I recently had one of my birds (Rosey Bourke, age 8) put down for some undiagnosed and fatal ailment.Definitely do get another budgie but quaratine them first, you seem like just the greatest person, maybe you should check out an rescue place instead of getting a new baby but that is just a thought. Not everybody is into rescueing birds but you seem like such a caring person with a BIG heart!

 

 

Hi Phoebe,

 

Thanks for the good advice. It's so tough losing a pet. I'm not to familiar with animal rescue centers in Michigan. I'd look into it but don't know who to contact. Do you have any ideas?

[Guest Phoebe]

:ausb: Hi there, hope you are feeling ever so slightly better about things today. Again it was just an idea about a rescue bird, it is up for you to decide whether a new, young bird is what you want or to help somebody out that needs help as well (and there are tons of young ones in rescue). Under our rescue section (subtopic under off topic, under "A List of Rescue Societies around the World" there are a couple of places listed in Michigan. As well, petfinder.com is a great search site as you can type in your city, the animal (bird) you want to adopt and it gives you pictures and particulars. Good Luck to you!

Edited March 1, 2007 by Phoebe